Jewish Humor – Confessions of a Jewish Mother

What are the two most highlighted characteristics of the.stereotypical Jewish Mother? Constant worrying, and constant complaining.  Here is a wonderful humorous video about Jewish Mother’s worrying and complaining, delivered by a 91.5 years old (!) Jewish Mother.

A lot of thanks to my friend Iriit Jacobson for sending the link.

Gmar Chatima Tova- Yom Kippur 2012

May You be Sealed in the Book of Life

The last Mishnah in the Tractate of Ta’anit states:

Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel says, “There were never happier days for the Jews like the fifteen of Av and Yom Kippur

And why is Yom Kippur one of the happiest days?

Continue reading

Shanah Tova – May the coming year bring goodness upon us

Shanah Tova

Rosh Hashanah traditional Greeting: May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year. Source: HebrewDailyPhrase.com

The Jewish New Year, year 5773, is upon us. In Jewish tradition this is a time for reflection, looking back on all we’ve done, all we’ve accomplished, asking forgiveness for our wrongdoing, and praying for a better year. For more on Rosh Hashanah symbols and traditions, press here.
I’ll spare you the retrospective and skip right to the good wishes.

A few days ago I received an email from a dear friend of mine M. It was one of these chain emails and it recommended sharing with 12 people, but because of the powerful message,  I would like to share with all of you:

 A mystical Jewish formula for good mazel and who of us can’t use that!?

God our Father, walk through my house & take away all my worries & illness & please watch over & heal my family & other families too…Amen.
 

May the new year bring Health, Happiness, peace and prosperity.
Shanah Tova!

Learn Hebrew, one phrase at a time

Learn Hebrew, One Phrase a dayWe are delighted to announce the launch of a new affiliated website: www.HebrewDailyPhrase.com.  The website’s goal is to increase your Hebrew vocabulary by introducing a new Hebrew word or phrase at a time. How is this website different than others?

To quote from www.HebrewDailyPhrase.com/about/ Continue reading

Jewish Humor – What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin

Originally posted on Literary Adventure:

Jewish Humor- What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews

A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. The doctor is three, the woman answers. And the lawyer is two.

***

 A medieval Jewish astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress will die soon. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later, the king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him: prophesy to me when you will die. The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. I do not know when I will die, he answered finally. I only know that whenever I will die, the king will die three days later.

***

 Two Jews are dragged by anti-Semites before a firing squad. The first one cries out: Stop! …

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Jewish Humor – Growing Up Jewish

This gem of Jewish HumorJewish humor arrived by email. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

Growing up, you knew you were Jewish when…

  • You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout “Are you okay?” through the bathroom door when you were in there longer than 3 minutes. Continue reading

The Modern Jewish Nomad

no·mad  (nmd)

1. A member of a group of people who have no fixed home and move according to the seasons from place to place in search of food, water, and grazing land.

2. A person with no fixed residence who roams about; a wanderer.

One of my son’s favorite questions on our short ride to school in the morning is “Ima what am I” and it goes like this:

Son: Ima, am I German?

Me: Yes, Abba’s mother (paternal grandmother) is German, she came to Israel when she was a little girl.

 Son: Am I Ukrainian?

Me: Yes, my Saba (mother’s grandfather) came from Ukraine to Argentina.

Son:  Am I Argentinean?

Me: Yes, I was born in Argentina and moved to Israel when I was 7 years old.

Son: Am I an Israeli?

Me: Yes, Abba was born in Israel.

And by the time I pull up by the drop off lane we wandered through Europe, America (north and south) and Asia. I tell him the story of our ancestors and I can see through the rear-view mirror how he fills with pride as yet another country is added to his heritage. Continue reading

Present Continuous – A Mother’s instinct

This is the first time that a trailer left such a large impact on me. I watched it in the morning before leaving to work and I could not stop thinking about it all day long. When I ask myself what is so special about this trailer I realized that these 2:22 minutes told a story about all the things that I care most; Family, Israel and Motherhood in its purest shape.

Present Continuous tells the story of a mother that on a Friday afternoon, while everyone is asleep, locks up her family members at home. Rutty is unable to deal with the stress and anxiousness she suffers from due to Israel’s continuous tense situation. She decides to protect her family: Ofer - a 19 year old soldier, Noa - a 15 year old teenager and Yoel – her husband. They all wake up to a locked house, disconnected from any means of communication. Continue reading

What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank

Reblogged from www.literaryAdventure.comThe Joy of Reading Books

I’m not a big fan of short story collections. Short stories, in my humble opinion, are best suited to magazines. When I pick up a book, I expect a full length story, one that would tempt me to forgo food, drink, and sleep for the privilege of turning the pages. I make exception for very few short story collections. Nathan Englander’s, ‘What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank,’ is one of those exceptions. I have read both Englander’s previous books, ‘For the Relief of Unbearable Urges’ and ‘The Ministry of Special Cases,’ and had high expectations of his latest book. I was not disappointed.  Continue reading

Hannukah vs. Christmas

When my son was 3 years old he said to me: “Imma, I do not want to celebrate Hannukah, because it is at night and there are no decorations, and I want to wait for Santa to bring me presents”

Although we had lived in America, I thought of us as an Israeli family. We speak Hebrew at home. We mention the state of Israel many times a day.  I was certain we were “assimilation proof”.

My son’s statement came as a complete shock and taught me that the “Jewish built-in component” in my Israeli identity is not immune to the triggers and temptations that are out there in the Diaspora, like waiting for Santa Claus’s Reindeer.  Continue reading