In our weekly Jewish Humor corner, we bring quotes of Jewish comedians including Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, George Burns, Jackie mason, Groucho Marx, and Lenny Bruce.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot. Woody Allen
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment. Woody Allen
A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. The doctor is three, the woman answers. And the lawyer is two.
A medieval Jewish astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress will die soon. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later, the king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him: prophesy to me when you will die. The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. I do not know when I will die, he answered finally. I only know that whenever I will die, the king will die three days later.
Two Jews are dragged by anti-Semites before a firing squad. The first one cries out: Stop! …
Prosecutors in the Bavarian city of Hof said that a doctor had sought to file charges against a local rabbi for performing ritual circumcisions, citing the Cologne court’s ruling, the regional broadcaster BR reported on Tuesday. Continue reading →
Unless we stand up,speak out and reverse this trend, the next generation of American leaders – those who will assume power around the year 2020 – will not see Israel as an ally. They will see Israel as a burden – and one that may not be worth carrying. (America 2020: How the next generation views Israel, by Dr. Frank I. Luntz for The Israel Project) Continue reading →
Iran is close to be capabale of producing nuclear weapons
On June 7, 1981 Israel destroyed Iraq’s nuclear reactor. The reactor had less than a month to go before it became critical. On September 6. 2007, Israel destroyed Syria’s nuclear reactor weeks before it was ready to go live. In both cases, the air strike came as a surprise. There was no media festival pre-announcing the attacks, no declaration from Israel leaders about the Israel’s right to defend itself, by itself, against any threat , and certainly no military plan published before the fighters took off. In fact, the story about the bombing of the Syrian reactor was not exposed until more than three years later.
The current media festival around Israel allegedly imminent attack on Iran brings to mind another media festival which occurred before and during the First Gulf War, on 1990-1991.
In today’s raging debate on whether Israel should and will strike Iran, it is important to keep in mind the root of the problem: why a nuclear-armed Iran is a danger not only to Israel but to the entire world, why Iran’s nuclear program must be stopped. Benjamin Netanyahu dedicated his speech in AiPAC Policy Conference on March this year to the subject. Reading it again, it sounds more relevant than ever. Here is a partial transcript of the speech:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Tonight, I’d like to talk to you about a subject that no one has been talking about recently…: Iran.
Every day, I open the newspapers and read about these redlines and these timelines. I read about what Israel has supposedly decided to do, or what Israel might do.
Well, I’m not going to talk to you about what Israel will do or will not do, I never talk about that. Continue reading →
Two months ago we launched www.JAMShome.com. And what a great two months these have been.
I ended up spending a lot more time than I had expected on the blog but I also enjoyed blogging much more than I had expected, and believe me when I say, I started with great expectations.
In the past two months I have realized how much I enjoy airing my thoughts. I also enjoy the discussions some of the posts spark, both offline from friends and acquaintances who read the blog, and online via comments and Facebook messages.
I have taken great pride with the growing traffic to the site and with each new follower. The blog visitors certainly love humor. Growing up Jewish and Jewish Mother jokes are among the most popular posts. I wish I had saved all the great jokes I received via email throughout the last few years. I make a solemn promise to share the best of them from now on. People were drawn to the posts about current events, like the posts about circumcision or President Obama support for Israel. I can promise more of these too. There will also be more book reviews, like the one about What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank. Reading is still my favorite hobby, second only to blogging and writing.
In the last week, I made some changed to the blog, adding menus, changing the content of the side bar, and replacing the logo picture. I hope you find them to be improvements over the previous interface, but I would like to do more and I need your help. What do you like? What don’t you like? What would you like to see more off? Please take a few minutes of your time to provide your feedback. I included a form at the bottom of this post especially for this purpose.
Thank you for your interest in www.JAMShome.com. I hope to hear from you and see you again on the blog.
I don’t know about you, but I can tell you that many times I hesitated to act for causes near and dear to my heart because I didn’t believe I, as an individual, can make a difference. So here is a true story from HonestReporting about how individuals can make a difference in fighting the media bias against Israel. Continue reading →