A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. The doctor is three, the woman answers. And the lawyer is two.
A medieval Jewish astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress will die soon. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later, the king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him: prophesy to me when you will die. The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. I do not know when I will die, he answered finally. I only know that whenever I will die, the king will die three days later.
Two Jews are dragged by anti-Semites before a firing squad. The first one cries out: Stop! …